10/365

A Self Portrait.

9/365

This is my alternate reality; the one I could have. I know it's achievable, before I fell pregnant with Djr I joined an intensive weight loss/training program at the gym and got back to 67.5kg without plateauing. I just have to get off my butt and do it.

Another day... ;)

(There were books behind the scales, under my heels but boy! My Achilles tendons are SO sore now and it only took a few minutes to take!)

Specs:
Canon EOS 400D
1/80s
f/5.6
55mm (EF-S 18-55mm)
ISO1600

8/365

That's my girl...

Portraits are my least favourite photography genre, I need a lot more practice, fortunately I have a couple of quite willing models to help me out with that...

Specs:
Canon EOS 400D
1/125s
f/1.8 
50mm
ISO200

seventy-three to seventy-seven...

73: photography and my tutor
74: seeing into people's secrets on "Baggage"
75: family game night, despite the fights
76: medicine to stop the babe's runny nose and bring him some comfort
77: kittens, for their cuteness

7/365

This was the photo I finally submitted for my assignment. Was thrilled to get 9/10 for this module, the technical aspects of the course are truly doing my head in but I'm finally "getting it". My tutor gave some very encouraging responses to this photo including that there was very little he could add to it, 'though he did suggest that more of the handle of the whisk could be included.

Specs:
Canon EOS 400D
1/1000s
f/1.8
50mm
ISO400

6/365

Another day of assignment shooting; I think I'm getting close to something I want to submit...

Specs:
Canon EOS 400D
1/1600s
f/1.8
50mm
ISO400

5/365

Still working on a photo for the same assignment showing depth of field.

My Dad grew this pineapple (and the one that came from the top behind it.)

Specs:
Canon EOS 400D
s1/250
f/1.8
50mm
ISO200

4/365

I heard that you can take macro photos without a macro lens... I think my next big photography purchase will be a macro lens but in the meantime, this holding the fixed length lens backwards technique is quite nifty. Only problem is that there is no auto focus, the camera knows there's no lens attached and you can't use any of the camera settings (no adjustment of shutter speed, aperture, etc) so you have to hold the camera (and lens) at the exactly right distance from the subject, be in the right light, hold the camera (and lens) exactly still... hard work!

This poppy was my first to bloom; a lovely surprise to greet me this morning.

Specs:
Canon EOS 400D
50mm (held to the lens attachment backwards.)

sixty-eight to seventy-three...

68: an easy going landlord
69: freedom to garden at a property we don't own
70: State of Origin; loving the building excitement right now
71: afternoon naps
72: networking, just talking to people
73: different opinion, even when I think they're stupid!

sixty-five to sixty-seven...

65: childcare
66: a great dental prosthetician, good at his trade, personable and friendly
67: studying photography and improving my craft

3/365

I love the treasures of nature, little bits and pieces that can be found all around us. Take the time to notice them and you will see beauty where ever you go.

This photo was taken as a trial for the final part of the previously mentioned assignment.

Specs:

Canon EOS 400D

1/800s

f/1.8

50mm

ISO 200

sixty to sixty-four...

60: a supportive community to help with troublesome assignments

61: Monday night babysitting

62: no-one having been hurt at the next door shop's hold up yesterday morning

63: no "accidents" at school! yay!

64: children moved by books (R, Once, Morris Gleitzman)

2/365

This was taken for the third part of the same photography assignment.

Liam's motorbike helmet; I'm sure it's too small for him now but it's still one of his prized possessions.

-♥-♥-♥-

Specs:

Canon EOS 400D

20s

f/8

50mm

ISO 200

fifty-two to fifty-nine...

52: a block of Snack chocolate when everyone else has gone to bed

53: feeding "duckdies" at the river

54: IQ series recording

55: my camera and learning more about it

56: cake wrecks

57: Dave Grohl; so cool...

58: the Foo Fighters

59: kittens

Here We Go Again...

So, I started my 365 project at New Years Day and got off to a cracking start in January, often posting more than one photo a day. Unfortunately, I took a couple of days off uploading once February began and lot momentum.

Four and a half months later, I'm going to try it again, and so...

1/365: I had a photography assignment to work on so went with D and Djr to feed the "duckdies" by the river. I had to take a series of photos using different settings and completed all but one photo of Part A of the assignment before my batteries ran out! Bah! Will have to start over again tomorrow.

forty-eight to fifty-one...

48: evading rapture

49: cheap plants

50: an hour's babysitting for "a piece of quiet"

51: an easy start to toilet training

forty to forty-seven...

40: a shop of our own and

41: a hard working husband who has earned

42: the loyalty of our regular customers

43: who understand the value of supporting small business

44: a bye weekend when you're team is untouchable on top of the ladder

45: the dogs being defeated

46: a house that possums visit

47: reheatable meals when the cat steals your chicken!

thirty-five to thirty-nine...

35: another tenancy inspection over and done with

36: girls socks 10 for $10!

37: trackie pants for the babe, cheap!

38: full moons

39: pretty sunsets

thirty-one to thirty-four...

31: good quality second hand, like the stroller I picked up this morning

32: having money to pay some bills, even if it's only on pay day

33: plants revived by liquid fertiliser, my husband was convinced that I'd killed them, not getting them into the ground soon enough.

34: the courage to go back to playgroup, even when I was running late.

twenty-one to thirty...

21: long, blonde, toddler curls

22: a clean kitchen

23: a nearly empty laundry

24: take away night

25: dentist cost being less than expected

26: 80x potted colour plants, so pretty!

27: that my children have each other (to fight with)

28: and that they really do love each other

29: a husband who works long hours

30: and still comes home and shares housework

sixteen to twenty...

16: sunshiney Autumn days

17: mornings spent outside

18: a tidier back yard

19: no bills in the mail, and

20: after lunchtime naps

eleven to fifteen...

11: the beauty of fog across the road

12: children's tv programs in the morning (they allow me to wake and prepare for the day...)

13: hot toast and tea

14: non-childcare days

15: warm fluffy red socks

one to ten...

1: the mute button on my television

2: the warmth of my tiger patterned "blankie"

3: and my cat sitting at my feet

4: the sounds of silence

5: pretty pre-made blog themes

6: the masses of information at my fingertips

7: and my friends in the interwebs too

8: great dental care, finally

9: a FREE shoe cabinet which is just what I wanted

10: and a bed, hubby warmed, to retire to.

A Man and A Bridge - Part I

Image Credit

Last Friday traffic ground to a halt in Sydney's CBD as a man ascended the Harbour Bridge in protest of the apparent neglect suffered by his children at the hands of the Family Court and other Australian family assistance services.

There was a slight beat up about him endangering the safety of commuters drawing parallels to terrorist attacks and making the impression that the man, Mick, intended to cause harm to commuters. More than once a cry was heard that "he left a note on his car saying he was going to hurt people". That was a good story however it was not factual. The note left by Mick on his truck actually said, "I do have un-lanyarded equipment with me which poses a hazard to any motorist underneath and I don't want anyone to get hurt in this." Anyone who has participated in a bridge climb (in fact anyone who has completed basic high school physics or who possesses a little common sense) would know that ANY item taken onto the bridge, be it a paper clip or a brick, which is not secured at all times is a risk to commuters and pedestrians on the deck below. It is however a far cry from the claims likening this protest to a terrorist attack in which the participant intends to harm others.

Yes, it was a dangerous protest, however, danger is relative and we must look at all the facts when assessing danger. This was not a man who went onto the bridge without safety equipment or without the full understanding of the undertaking he was making. It was a man who possessed the skills to conduct both the climb and descent safely, who warned that there was danger present to others and requested that measures be taken to ensure their safety.

Yes, people were inconvenienced, traffic was held up, productivity for the morning would've been reduced. However, surely this is a small price to pay if this man's protest bears any weight in the failures in the current systems that children fall under when their parents separate. Our children ARE being failed, when their parent/s fail them there are not sufficient processes in place to ensure that they are safe and cared for, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. Before Mick's protest it may well have been the case that the majority of people had never heard of "parental alienation syndrome", yet it is a very serious matter and one which needs our attention.

What it all boils down to is this; children NEED their parents, BOTH of their parents. Ideally yes, their parents would be together and love one another but at the very least children need AT LEAST an awareness and knowledge of both their parents, in the absence of either parent they need that awareness and knowledge to be unbiased and told to them in terms that they can accept and understand. Not everyone's parents are good people, sometimes good people do bad things, whatever the case, a child's parent IS part of them and if a child hears only of how bad their parent is they believe also that part of them is equally as bad, if not worse.

Going Bananas

When I saw that the theme for this week's My Sweet Life link up at Suger Coat It was "weird" and that the original post was about weird things at work my thoughts immediately ran to the crazy banana man.

About 6 weeks ago (when supermarket prices were $12.98kg and most fruit and veg shops were selling bananas at $9.99kg) we ran a promotion at our shop where we were selling bananas for $3.99kg and printed and distributed flyers advertising the special. I delivered the flyers myself and spoke with a few people as I did (as they were watering their gardens, speaking with their neighbours or walking their dogs.) All responded in the manner in which we expected "Oh, that's a great price, I'll have to go there, where is the shop?"

Shortly after I returned to the shop the phone started ringing. A man who I immediately recognised as being irate about something demanded to speak to my husband and as he couldn't come to the phone I offered to have him call back, resulting in the following exchange:

Crazy Banana Man: "No, you cannot get him to call me back, he doesn't have my number, he can't call back!"

Me: "I'm sorry, can I give him a message then?"

CBM: "Yes, you can tell him that his bananas are too expensive! He's crazy if he thinks people are going to pay that price! They should be only one dollar, ONE DOLLAR ONLY is the right price for bananas!"

Me: "Sir, I'm sorry but bananas have not been that price for at least a couple of months due to supply issues"

CBM: "I don't care about that. David is crazy! Noone will pay that for bananas!"

Me: "Are you aware that (the supermarket) next door is selling bananas for $12.98kg?"

CBM: "I don't care about (the supermarket)! You just tell him this, it is too expensive for bananas, noone will pay that price, he's crazy if he thinks they will and they're crazy if they do. ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE WILL PAY $3.99kg FOR BANANAS!"

As he hung up I burst into uncontrollable laughter; glad for the relief of him being off the phone so I COULD laugh at him.

The poor man was clearly lacking the vital brain food which is so readily supplied by bananas!

Bananas are the most sold fruit in the world and with prices at highs like they are at the moment many people are doing without them. I'm interested to hear how much people have paid for bananas (ie how much they're willing to pay) and where they are selling at their highest prices. Current talk in the market is that bananas may reach a high price of around $17kg retail; I know if I had to pay retail prices for bananas we would be doing without and even paying wholesale prices we are still eating a lot less bananas that we would normally.

So; how much were the last bananas you bought? How many did you buy? Or, when was the last time you bought bananas?

For those not in the know banana prices are almost at their peak at the moment, the pries rocketed from a regular price of around $1.99kg up to around $7.99kg almost immediately after Cyclone Yasi tore through North Queensland in February. Most places (in Sydney) are currently stocking bananas at around $12kg, 'though we've heard of supermarkets selling them for $16kg. At out little fruit shop we've not sold bananas for more than $8.99kg (if we can't get them at a price that we can sell them for a profit at that price we don't buy them in.) Up until two weeks ago we had not raised our price to more than $5.99kg.

Mother Knows Best... sometimes...

How often do you make a comment in passing not realising the impact it might really have?

This postcard; which I saw on the PostSecret blog this afternoon reminded me of the countless times I've heard women comment on the influence their mothers unknowingly had on their lives. The little things their mothers never knew they did that upset them.

"Oh, you've put on weight since I saw you last"

"Are you really that hungry?"

"You're sister has such beautiful skin"

"Why don't you (sing, run, work, dance, do anything...) like your sister/brother"

"You're so much like your father"

Most of the time comments such as these are said without the intention of causing hurt but intention or not, they hurt. Moreso than causing hurt, these comments stick with us, in the back of our minds and every time we doubt ourselves these are the things we remember.

"My mum thinks I'm fat."

"I shouldn't eat that, Mum would be horrified."

"My sister is so much more beautiful than me, no wonder noone ever looks at me."

"I can't sing (run, work, dance, do anything) well."

"Mum hates Dad, she's never said anything good about him, she must hate me too."

There's one truth, as children, we know above all others; mother knows best. So if our own mother believes all these bad things about us they must be true, she wouldn't say it if they weren't, right?

If your mother ever said anything like this to you, she probably didn't mean it, probably meant well in fact. Maybe she just wasn't thinking about what she was saying. Most importantly, she was wrong; sometimes we all are.

As a child it may well have been true that our mothers knew us better than anyone else, as adults that no longer holds true. Go out and create your own truths; eat with joy, sing loudly, celebrate your beauty and be proud of the ways you are like your father, he wasn't all bad either.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...

In just a few short months I will have been a mother for 14 years, FOURTEEN! That is SO many mother years and yet there are so many more to come.

This is significant in understanding the impact of what I did today to change my world, to add to my life, to enrich and make it better.

I went to playgroup. 14 years and 3 children and today I went to playgroup for the very first time independently, just me and my babe, noone else there that I knew. I have been before to a friend's playgroup to visit (whilst they were at a play centre end of term break up no less) and I've been to a supported playgroup-style program for mothers who have suffered post natal depression. I have never before been to playgroup, by myself. Let me explain...

You know that feeling you get when you're at a theme park (or even at "the show") and you're deciding which thrill ride you are going to go on first? The butterflies in your stomach start to flutter yet you still join the queue. As the queue proceeds and you get closer to taking your place on the ride those butterflies become grasshoppers jumping around your insides. You take your seat and wonder if you really will be able to hold down the lunch you probably shouldn't have eaten (or was it just the fairy floss that was too much?) You start to sweat, the ride lurches forward and your heart is in your throat closely followed by your stomach. You're wondering if you're really going to survive this little exploit (what made you think this would be fun?!) "OMG, I should just take the chicken ramp now!" You can't help but think. Then, just as quickly as you began to process your doubts about the ride, you realise it's all over and it wasn't really that bad, in fact, it was kind of cool. "I might even do that again!"

Everyone knows that feeling right? You either overcome it and take the ride or you decide you just plain don't like thrill rides and you never defeat the anxiety that prevents you from giving them a go. That's how I feel about people, interpersonal interactions and people in groups in general. Even the groups of people filling shopping centres scare me and I don't have to talk to any of them (well, not more than civilities with shop assistants or apologising to the person one of the babes horrifies with their childish absurdities.)

So playgroup, for me, was like deciding to go to a theme park, and then taking the plunge to go on the biggest roller coaster there (or maybe the Giant Drop, that is really one horrendous beast!) Today I did it, I overcame one of my great fears. I beat the anxiety and you know what? It wasn't that bad, it was kind of cool. The babe had a great time with many new friends. The mothers were friendly (they all took the time to come to me and introduce themselves which was a great blessing.) There were no scary, uber-stylish yummy mummies at our new playgroup.

Yes, I said it, "our playgroup". I can see that we'll be going back; maybe these friendly women will come to be women I call friends.

Wasted Time...

I sleep badly, terribly, in fact I often get by on fewer than 5 hours sleep a night. Note how I said "get by" otherwise known as "surviving" but I'm not by any means doing well. I am always tired, always on edge, always anxious, always impatient, quick to anger. None of these are good things, of this I am fully aware.

I'm sure that a great deal of this problem has been born of bad habit; night time is MY time, quite often it's the only time I have to myself however I know I have to change this pattern. I often think about how different my life might be if I were to turn my sleep patterns upside down, rise much earlier, sleep much earlier. If I were to rise with the sparrows I could walk or cycle (at a stretch maybe I could even run somewhere) before the children wake; the older ones are great babysitters when the babe is sleeping and don't mind as long as they know what I'm doing. In any case I would always have my phone with me and be able to be back home within 20minutes and we have great neighbours who the kids could go to if need be. I would still have time to myself but it would be more productive time; I wouldn't mind exercising in the evening (at night even) but my husband would be in conniptions at the terrible risk I'd be taking. Forming the habit of rising earlier might also mean that I can keep up with exercise during summer when it comes around again.

Getting up early isn't really the problem, I can do that, in fact, when I have to work I do just that, up at 5am without too much complaining. The problem lays at the other end of the day, the evening. The older children are at the stage where 8:30pm no longer seems a late enough bed time for them and last school term my husband made a deal with our son that if he wasn't late to school a single day he would be allowed a later bed time. He wasn't late and is now pushing for 9:30pm bed time. For me to change my habits and get up early every day I need to recognise when I am tired in the first place and go to bed at that time; usually around 8pm. I don't just get up and go to bed at that time because my husband has usually not been long home from work, the children aren't off to bed yet, generally it's family time and with D working on his own business we don't get a lot of that during the week. By the time the children are all in bed and settled into sleep I'm beyond tired, my mind kicks into overdrive and I can't wind down again for hours.

I think I will just have to take the plunge and do it. If I'm up early enough I'll get to spend quiet time with D before he goes to work (he currently intentionally gets up a little earlier than he has to for quiet time, on the opposite schedule to me!) It will be good for us to have those few precious moments to ourselves. It will be good for him to have that small amount of time in the evening alone with the children. It will be good for me not to have to "do bedtime". It will be good for me to get more sleep.

The notion keeps coming to me of late that "you can do anything just for this day". I've seen it in a movie or tv show, I recalled it from GA literature. It makes sense really. So, just for today, Tuesday (my little personal challenge was going to be to go to bed before midday on Monday but I had to write this post before it left my scrambled brain for never never land) 10 May, I will go to bed before 9pm. I'll see how it works and then maybe I can do it again on Wednesday, after that, who knows? Only time will tell.

Inappropriate censorship?

I read a blog post recently in which the author exclaimed at the differences in the book The Bridge to Terabithia that she as an adult read to her children, as opposed to what she recalled having read as a child. Having never read The Bridge to Terabithia (nor indeed watched the movie) I cannot comment on the content of the book, however I thought it was odd to want to censor something form her children which had brought her such joy.

The writer's main concern seemed to be the amount of swearing in the book, 'though she also mentioned a 5th grader having an intense crush on his teacher.

I've always taken the tact with my children that they can read 'most any material of their choosing (they're not hanging out with the Playboy girls) safe in the knowledge that anything that concerns them therein can be taken up with myself or their father and that we will always give them factual and relevant information to sate their thirst for knowledge. That's not to say that we'd give them a graphic or complete adult description of swear words, moreso that we might explain to them that "sh*t" is a slang word similar to "poop" which may be used as a swear word to express frustration, or that "f*ck" is a swear word used by some adults (and teenagers) but it is not acceptable for children or for adults who wish to be seen as responsible, considerate, people. We've taken the same tact with television and movies. They watch programs and movies of their choosing as long as they are in our company or the company of adults we trust tor treat them similarly (ie answer their questions honestly and appropriately.)

Print, televisual and cinematic media are for the greater part, a reflection on the beliefs and attitudes of our greater society. We might not agree with all of the ideas and ideals portrayed but I would rather my children be presented with those alternative view points whilst I can influence their reactions to them.

Did the books/movies you are now banning/censoring for your children do you any real harm? They gave you great memories and as a child, (as the adult you now realises) you censored them for yourself.

If the adult (or inappropriate) content went straight over your head as a child why wouldn’t the same thing happen to your children?

Funny how children see the whole world from a different perspective than adults isn’t it?

I think it's important to remember that no matter what the influences our children encounter int heir young lives it is we, their parents, who are the greatest influence on them.