What is Real?

Every now and then I have a light bulb moment; in a flash, everything seems clear. I know exactly what I should do and how to do it, or I just suddenly understand something that has seemed beyond my grasp previously. We all have those moments right? Problem with my mind is that just as soon as there is clarity it is surrounded by mud, or at the least, fogginess. The moment is irrevocably lost.

It happened again this week. I had the television on in the background, as I so often do (and know I shouldn't) and there was a segment on a current affairs program about behavioural psychology. Specifically it was about people who intermittently cannot control their temper; apparently this is now a behavioural disorder, seriously. I couldn't get my head around that; how can it be that a person can control their temper most of the time but intermittently, randomly even, they lose that ability? It seems the whole world has gone mad in assigning every personality flaw a behavioural/mood disorder denying people the power of personal responsibility. Where is the line between "I screwed up and now I have to pay the price" and "I have a behavioural disorder and cannot control this"? Is there such a line? How can you tell if a person has "intermittent outburst disorder" or is just an abusive asshole who loses their temper?

This line of thinking, of course, led me to thinking about how I would then be judging myself. Post Natal Depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Severe Generalised Depression, Insomnia, etc, etc, etc, yes, you could say I'm a bit of a fruit loop. (You could, you don't have to!)

What if all these disorders weren't real? What if they'd never been labelled, if I'd never been diagnosed? Well, of course, the reality is they would all still exist, I would still have to deal with all of them but what if I could just change my thinking? What if I could just decide that I would not suffer from these disorders any longer? What if I pretended, "fake it 'til I make it" until I just didn't have any of those disorders anymore?

In that moment I really believed it to be possible; if I just "went to bed earlier", if I just "got more organised", if I just "stopped worrying". Then I could be me, the real me, me to my full potential. So I decided I would do it, the next day. The next day hasn't come yet, it probably won't come, maybe if I just take baby steps I'll find that day somewhere down the track... maybe I won't.

(It is worth noting that even though I didn't end up taking the "fake it 'til you make it" approach, I did a couple of days later hear a news article stating that researchers have found that there is a gene variant leading some people to be predisposed to depression. This seemed to blow my whole "pretending" theory into chaos. A (Dr) Google search however will quickly show that as with most medical research there are no firm answers, one study shows genetic variants another dismisses that theory just as readily. Here comes that fog again...)

Start Doing Things You Love...

Things I love...

• reading
• gardening
• photography
• bicycling
• writing
• letters
• learning
• friends and family
• dancing
• singing
• walking, hiking and camping
• flower arranging and selling
• crafting

These are the things I need to do more of to find my balance and ensure my happiness. They're not necessarily things I'm good at but things that bring me joy. I need to consciously act to make more time in my life for these things.

If you don't have enough time, watch less tv.  

I don't think I watch too much tv but this line of the Holstee manifesto is a reminder in any case, that the things we place importance on may not be important after all. Many a time I have the tv on for background noise (what bad company!) and get distracted from what I really want to be doing by whatever brain suck is currently on the box. Facebook offers similar torment in the form of all the mind numbingly easy to get drawn into games that are offered therein. I need to make a conscious decision to reduce the impact of those things on my life. Television and facebook; time drains extraordinaire.

Meant to be?

You could almost be forgiven for believing that news.com.au had signed up for google advertising with the look of this advertisement (on the right) posted next to this news story.

The advertisement is actually for a health fund offering 100% more dental cover...

Spiritual Home

It's been a long time now since I've set foot in a Church for anything other than the wedding, christening or funeral of a friend or relative, around 20 years in fact.

A long time that I've rejected Christianity and tried to fill the gap with a variety of other theories and systems.

My siblings and I were raised in the Church of England, Anglicans, by the time that I made my first communion however my parents had long since left the Church, well at least physically they had. I would've been around 14 at the time I think and was involved with the Church through assisting to operate their creche and Sunday School and also through a Friday evening Youth Group. I loved that Church, I loved the people I met there, yet eventually I drifted away from there, for what reason I cannot recall.

I've struggled ever since then with the ideals held in the Bible; what is real, what is an analogy, an idiom? Where do you draw the line between fact and fiction and is it really meant to be read literally anyway? I think my drifting away from the Church began at that age when I naturally began to question everything I knew and when things couldn't be explained I sought to find the answers elsewhere.

Strange then, isn't it, when I haven't been able to find the answers elsewhere that I've returned to the place from whence I began?

What am I seeking anyway?

I believe firmly in signs, that if you live your life in a fully aware state there are many indicators in our day to day travels which lead us in the right direction, confirm our paths or potentially, lead us astray. Many days pass I'm sure in which I'm surrounded by signs that I either do not see or fail to recognise for what they are.

There is a children’s television show, actually I don’t even know the name of it, all I know if the theme song “everything’s rosie, everything’s ro-ho-o-sie, everything’s rosie when your friend’s are around… everything’s ro-ho-o-osie-ee now…” (Okay, I just googled, the show is actually called “Everything’s Rosie”.) Monty Python sang “Always look on the bright side of life,” whistle, whistle, whistle.” Pollyanna learned to play the glad game and for many eons people have been saying “every cloud has a silver lining”.

These sentiments, whilst mostly true, fall under another old saying “easier said than done”, however another quote I read recently was “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything” had me thinking on the theory of always looking “on the bright side” all over again. What if it really is possible to change your life just by changing your perception of the events in your life? It’s worth a try isn’t it?

These are the signs that have been thrust upon me of late; genuine silver linings around real clouds as I drive home exhausted from work, the theme song of that children's tv show, the Monty Python troupe singing to themselves randomly in my head a friend mentioning the Pollyanna game. I must start putting more effort into noticing the positives in my life, being thankful for them and emphasising them.

Not Just a Rose

Specs: Canon EOS 400D 1/4000s f/1.8 50mm ISO400

I know it looks like it's "just a rose" but it's really not. About 6 weeks ago, amidst some of our hottest summer days I answered a call from a lady who wanted rose plants removed from her garden. It shouldn't have been done; for best results plants should be moved and transplanted when they are dormant, especially finicky ones like roses, ie winter. This particular rose was in the second lot of 2 that I took and it had been grown from a clipping from the original owner's Pop's garden a couple years ago.

I feel very blessed that all of the roses transplanted successfully (5 plants, one of them separated into two and both survived) living in a rental property there's no way I would've invested the money to buy roses, especially when one of them, the Honey Dijon, is still copyrighted.

So, the Pop's rose (I don't know it's name) was the first to flower and to round of the signs these roses brought to me one of the other plants is a "Blue Moon" rose. I've always loved roses in unusual colours and this one is particularly special; my Grandfather's neighbour and long time friend was part of the team that created this rose (first released in 1965.) The Blue Moon is not doing so well, it had a bad case of black spot when I adopted it, I do think it will survive though and will be at it's best for next summer.

That one, right up the back...

Specs: Canon EOS 400D 1/200s f/1.8 50mm ISO 400

Specs: Canon EOS 400D 1/200s f/1.8 50mm ISO 400

Today was my first day at the shop, well, first trading day in any case! There was still a lot of cleaning and tidying to do so I got stuck into that whilst R very ably attended to our cash till and customers. Had a chance to talk with the "neighbours" and some of our customers so that was nice.

Look forward to another couple of days in the shop this week; tidying up our second shop on Sunday and the following week we'll have TWO trading locations!

When I Grow Up...

I want to be just like my Mama!

There's my happiness! You can just see through his fringe, the sheer joy on my son's face as he looks at the "photos" he's taken, usually of his feet! He just loves to see the flash go off and the photo come up on the LCD under his control.

Specs: Canon EOS 400D 1/8s f/1.8 50mm ISO 400

It's a Lego Kind of Day

Djr was given this Duplo truck for Christmas and is really getting into putting the blocks together. I'm wondering if the Little People Deluxe Super Duper Everything Included Farm set I have put away for his birthday should be set aside for more Duplo.

Duplo will certainly take up less space in our small house and be much easier to pack away at the end of every day...



Specs:
Canon EOS 400D
s1/6
f/1.8
50mm
ISO 400

Flood Relief and the Levy

Over the past 24 hours debate has been raging across the country as to whether or not we should pay an additional levy to pay for the damage caused by the recent flood disasters across Regional and South East Queensland. I believe the levy would also go part of the way to rebuilding required in Victoria and Western Australia but as the bulk of the rebuilding required to be undertaken is in QLD that is where the debate is focussed.

The Government is suggesting a levy associated with income taxes, which the Opposition has labelled "just plain dumb stuff" claiming that the Government should rather cut further spending than those cuts which will be required to be made along with the proposed levy to cover the cost of the floods.

Back to Work

Of course; having our own shop again means more paper work for me. Most of the time I don't mind it, keeps the brain ticking and all.


Specs:
Canon EOS 400D
s
f/
50mm
ISO

Boy Iced Cake...

'Twas Australia Day and we didn't do much to celebrate it was WAY too hot here, in fact the hottest Australia Day in 20 years. Obviously, in those 20 years I've gotten old and soft as 20 years ago I lived in this very same area and didn't notice how hot it was!

R baked chocolate cupcakes in the morning and iced one for each of us then insisted that she could not possibly clean up or ice the other 8 or so cakes, so L did, this is one of his works of art.

Specs:
Canon EOS 400D
1/6s
f/1.8
50mm
ISO 400

A Different View...

Photo by Dawson; this is his view of our lounge room and there just happens to be an add on the television for his favourite shop in the whole world. Bunnings. Yes, he loves Bunnings, he gets excited every time we drive NEAR a Bunnings let alone when we actually turn into one of their car parks!

Another of Dawson's favourite things "Alella" (Nutella sandwiches.) He usually opens the sandwich and eats the Nutella face first, probably wearing more than he eats.

Day One...

Our first trading day; we've had some stock issues, ie things ordered and not delivered so it's been a bit hard to have nice, full displays. We do however, have nice signs and fresh produce.

 The fridge with stock and signs! Eek - those stickers need to go, we don't stock that juice for starters...

The displays across the front of the shop; I think these need to move, I'm not liking this stock being in the window...

More display bins...

Today's photos courtesy of R on her first day as a "check-out chick".

Look What We Got...

We just took over the management of this shop; tomorrow is our first trading day so today R and I went with D to see the shop for the first time and give it a bit of a clean up.

 This is what the shop has looked like when closed for at least the last couple of years. Nice display isn't it? It's been changed; those display bins now face out of the shop when the shop is closed, a revolution in merchandising! (Or just common sense?) The stickers and signs from the windows have all been removed too, people can see in unimpeded.

 The shell of a shop; there is a lot of potential here. There has been no signage whatsoever in the fridges, infact, D told me there was 6 months worth of out of date dairy stock in the bottom of the fridge. Who does that?!

The price signs in the picture were put in place by D last week, there were none before that. Apparently there were also some dubious pricing practices in place. Look at all those walnuts (on the left of the shelf above the bins) so many walnuts! They were on sale from the wholesaler... so quick, buy up, don't worry about it you will sell them or not! Oh dear...

I love unusual little details like this. This mail delivery slot is in the bottom of the door, literally 10cm or so off the ground. I'd bet that really bugs the mail deliverer!

This was how we left the shop; display bind facing out, we didn't have any stock to put in place this afternoon. The bread crates were not ours to remove (unfortunately).

There is a lot of potential here; I want to put blackboard signs along the front of the display bins, that's a start.

Feathered and Friends

There are a couple of pairs of Crimson Rosellas that have been visiting the pine trees in the front of our yard the past few days.

Specs:
Canon EOS 400D
1/400s
f/5.6
300.0mm
ISO 400


We also had a visit from some wonderful friends and all had a great time...

Secrets and Hugs

Giggling Girls

Messy Treats...

Pretty Wings

An early morning visitor to our garden...

Specs: Canon EOS 400D 1/320s f/4.0 18.0mm ISO400

You Make Me Vomit In My Mouth...

Miranda Devine; your "hard hitting" journalism is little more than trash talk of the over opinionated, under informed minority... The rest of us just can't drag ourselves away from witnessing such an amazing train wreck as your columns inevitably turn out to be.

Do You See What I See?

Specs: Canon EOS 400D 1/25s f/5.6 300.0mm ISO400

Specs: Canon EOS 400D 1/10s f/5.6 300.0mm ISO400

Specs: Canon EOS 400D 1/8s f/11 300.0mm ISO400



Oh how I love me a camera that can see the moon! I only wish I could've gotten a photo of the moon properly framed by the leaves, to the eye it was so beautiful. A tripod probably would've been helpful...

Specs: Canon EOS 400D 1/1320s f/5.6 300.0mm ISO400

Roly Poly

Djr's latest party trick - the almost made it but I fell sideways roly poly!